Alanna

teamrocketing:

*doesn’t study for test and gets mediocre grade*
*still angry at people having higher grades than me*

tuucker:

irisowl:

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.

memebuscemi:

when ur with ur best friend

image

nedsseveredhead:

I feel so proud when friends tell me their parents like me. Like damn right they do, I am a delight.

sarcastic-snowflake:

So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.”  tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work. 

annacdp:

George R. R. Martin 

time-lord-vonnegut:

Scientific method.

zoeuhura:

A+ parenting courtesy of the Turner family

supamuthafuckinvillain:

blaquezilla:

pinkcookiedimples:

Emmanuel Hudson distributing life

Bliss

This ruined me.

someactorkid:

itisnotofimport:

current emotion: that barn from the walking dead

image

Spongebob, why??

WHY DID YOU SET ME ON FIRE, SPONGEBOB

WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST WRITE YOUR ESSAY