Alanna

heyreallygiger:

if i ever met satan the first thing i would say is “did it hurt…when you fell from heaven??” It would be hilarious. The next thing I would do is probably burst into flame and get impaled dozens of times but it would still be hilarious

iguanamouth:

first date ideas: show your date to everybody in town… wearing a salmon suit

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terezidactyl:

shubbabang:

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I don’t let myself play staring contests anymore

I HAVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

fffcuk:

fffcuk:

my mom spent $9,360 on my private tumbling lessons in one year lmao

tumbling like gymnastics i did not get blogging lessons

missingtooth:

looking in the mirror after the anaconda video

missingtooth:

looking in the mirror after the anaconda video

hannaisha:

imthehomoyourmomwarnedyouabout:

alexagabrielle:

stopppppppp

Omgggg me as a mom

Omg

hoemama:

wailtothethief:

Fuck I’m walking downtown and I pass a group of guys staring at me and I think “great catcall time” but then one guy goes “you look like you could kill a man a million different ways with just your bare hands”. This. This is an acceptable comment to give a girl on the street.

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stayburned:

it seems that everyone i’m friends with is better friends with someone else and that really fucking sucks